Evergreen memories...

Life seems to be a magic.. we get so caught up with our day-to-day chores and challenges, that we even forget how we get into this whirlpool of family, kids etc.. Memory seems to fade away - thanks to two pregnancies and parenthood :( But, I still remember those wonderful childhood days spent with my li'l sister and my loving appa and appa! And, those funfilled summer vacation at my paternal grandparents place, in a small village called Pattamadai. Pattamadai is a calm, beautiful village along the banks of the river Tamaraparani, near Tirunelveli. My grand parents lived in the Agrahaaram called Sivananda street in Pattamadai (shown in the photo, as seen today). Agrahaarams are the traditional homes of South Indian Brahmins; invariably row houses with slan ting roofs, tall and heavy wooden beams along and common walls lining both sides of the street that leads to a temple, one on each end of the street. One such home is Thatha-Paati's (around 80 years old as of today). The backyard of the house opens up to a crystal clear river, that flowed almost all through the year.

Until my tenth grade, I have spent many days of summer vacation at my paternal grandparents's place. My parents would send me and my sister to Pattamadai in early April, to spend good one month with thatha and paati. My dad would help us board the bus at 8AM, at Madurai, and it took about 4 and half hrs to reach Pattamadai. Me and my sister would happily chat all along the journey, and plan for the fun that awaited us there. I still remember that scenic route — lush green paddy fields, flower beds, banana plantations, crystal clear rivers.... what a beautiful sight.... And as we got closer to our village, our excitement would race, and we would just wait to see the tomb of a mosque, the landmark which told us that we were just couple of miles from the Pattamadai bus stand. Waiting for us at the bus stop was a person call Santhaanam, who took care of Thatha's cows, bulls and farm. He would take us home in the bullock cart. The ride was about 10 -15 mins.. Paati and thatha eagerly awaited our arrival. As soon as we arrived, all our friends would swamp the house and all the holiday mood sets in right away! After exchanging a few words with Thatha, Paati would start giving us the travel updates of my other cousins(my dad's brother's sons, and my dad's sisters's sons and daughters)...They arrived at Pattamadai in a day or two after us. What a wonderful time we all had with our grand parents (Thatha and Paati)! When we all meet, it takes at least a couple of days to catch up on the fun that we had left off the previous year! hours and hours of chatting, fight, gossip, etc etc....
The entire village was up early. As we try hard to open the heavy eye lids at dawn, the first thing that slowly breaks the silence of the early morning is the voice of the milkman. Then, we hear the sounds of the maids, who start sweeping the enterance of the homes..the space before each house was swept, sprinkled with water and decorated with a kolam (Rangoli). In a short while, right before the sun is out, the entire street had kolams of different sizes and patterns, in front of every house in the agraharam. At this point, I finally decide try to get out of the bed.. Though I was among the oldest grand kids, I was my Thatha and Paati's favourite! She would ask me to wake up all my cousins, who will still be snuggled in their comforters! Finally, in about half hour, we are all out of the bed, brushed, and ready for a dose of fresh filter coffee.. My grandparents had atleast half a dozen cows in the backyard of the house.. Everyday, the milkman would come as early as 4am in the moring, and start milking the cows.. Paati would then boil the fresh milk for us for the morning coffee. After the coffee, myself, and some of our cousins would go to the backyard to watch the cute baby calves and feed them some bananas that my paati would have reserved for the cows! Then, we start hearing the vendors of fresh vegetables and greens straight from the gardens invaded the street, some calling out in raucous voices and some in a sing song manner.
Then, around 7am, we all sit down with our summer assignments..Though my grand parents were fun loving, and very affectionate, they were strict disciplinarians and also gave lot of importance to our studies. So, all 7 of us would sit down with our homework in the front room, called Ullu-Thinnai, meaning inner-Varanda, the room that was mostly used as a study.. Each of us decide and start our assignments: Math, English comprehnsion, or Hindi.. If I think back, it was so much fun to study together.. Even though we try to do our work quietly, sometimes a small discussion that starts as a whisper to clarify a doubt, would end up in a big fight, with my naughty cousin brother snatching my assignment papers in anger, and running around the house, threatening me that he would feed my papers to the cows! Finally, the fight ends with my Thatha pitching into the scene and yelling at us "What are you guys upto? If I hear anymore noise... I will pack all of you back to your home..".. That's it.. Now, we all get back to our work..
Towards the end of the homework session, the maid would arrive, and she would start to sweep and wipe the the floor, and clean the house. Then, we all get ready for the bath and then start with the preparations for the pooja. Thatha had our ancesteral Lingams. The priest came every day to chant the slokams and did the poojas for the lingams, as daily rituals. Our contribution was to gather the pooja items, and get them ready for the priest and Thatha.. After the pooja, we would clear up the pooja stuff, and deposit them to paati, so that she could wash and wipe them clean for the next day. Everyday after the pooja, the priest would give us little bit of white rice and paruppu (dhal) in a plantain leaf, which we would leave it near the cow-shed for the crows to eat.

After the pooja, we all get ready for lunch. Lunch was serverd in the dining hall called "Pattaa Saalai". Because we were 8 of us, the plates and the spot for each of us gets assigned on the first day! Paati would cook a varierty of food for lunch. Some days, she would prepare one favorite item of our choice. But the rule of thumb is that all of us have to eat all the items! After the lunch, we would help her clear the plates and each of us got in turns every day, to clean up the Patta Saalai after Lunch. After lunch, Paati would have a short nap in the afternoon. For us, afternoon is the time for all in-door games - like ludo, cards, hide and seek etc. We also had lot of friends, who lived in Pattamadai. Since they also had summer break at that time, they would arrive at our grandparents home in the afternoon.. Every day, we were atleast a dozen of us! Sometimes we even enacted Ramayan! We used an old wooden sofa as the stage for our performance in the dining room (Pattaa Saalai)! This sofa is probably 75 yrs old now - shown in photo below.

Our games would pause for a short break at 4PM, when Paati called us all for evening snacks- a variety of home made delicacies - murukku, Thatai, banana chips, adirasam etc.. all home made by Paati. Then, after the snack, she would comb and braid the her for all her grand daughters (me and my sister, and 2 of my other cousin sisters). We all freshen up, and get ready for some out door games in the street for next one hour! Sometimes we went for short walks round the lush paddy fields behind the Sivananda mutt, or, sometimes, we sat on the riverbank, next to the Ganesha temple (called as "Vaaikkaal Karai Pillaiyaar koil"). Then by 6PM, we were supposed to report back to Paati. We all sat before the Altar for the evening prayers. We chant the Shlokas, and sometimes sang short Bhajans. Me and cousin sisters were learning Indian Classical carnatic music. So, evening was the time to sit and practice all the music. Paati was a very good singer, and had a good knowledge of carnatic music, and so she took active interest in this event every evening!

Around 6PM everyday, we didn't miss going to the two village temples with the other friends. We found the atmosphere serene, peaceful and sublime. Then, 7:30PM was dinner time. And after dinner, we all settle down in the central hall of the house. Paati would tell us some stories , and gradually we would fall asleep without our knowledge! Those were the days! I can't beleive it's more that 2 decades since then..

Then time flew by. And things took a lot of twists and turns with time.. After high school, college etc, I got married, and moved to the other part of the world more than 12 years ago.... My Thatha passed away a decade ago... My cousins moved to different places for Studies/work etc.. and gradually got caught up with their lives! and we don't meet that often, except for some occasional email exchages with some of them.. I did not get a chance to go to Pattamadai until 2002, when my son was a year old. Though I had a lot of fond memories and emotions attached to that soil, and I always wanted to visit Pattamadai every year, it is practically not possible for us to do so, considering a lot of factors - work, kids's school etc.. My parents visit Pattamadai twice a year, and they stay in our ancestral home (photo on the Left). And this is where in the recent years my parents have been conducting all the annual pooja and religious ceremonies. My parents, my uncles and aunts meet here almost evey year during the annual pooja in Pattamadai.

After 5 years, again last year, we went to Pattamadai. My kids enjoyed every moment of their stay there, and were showered with love from grandparents, and everyone in our family. ....All the memories of those good old days were racing in my mind.. Hundreds of images from those golden times were flashing in front of my eyes.. God! how time has flown... very nostalgic.. and I can't beleive life has come to me so fast!

Why do we shout in anger?

WHY DO WE SHOUT AT ONE ANOTHER?
A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.' 'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her in a normal voice? Why do you need to shout when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint. Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be heard to each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout! Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...' The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only have to look at each other!! That is how two close people are, when they love each other.'

The story reminds me of an exercise with the 5th graders at Bal Vihar. The teacher asks them to talk to the friends sitting next to them. She then asks them to talk to friends sitting across the room. Then she asks them to talk to God. The first experiment is a small whisper, the second is louder, while the third is silent. The beautiful revelation behind this is when the teacher explains how God is so close to us that we dont have to talk loudly or in whispers, but silently and He hears us :)

My world, my father!

Those memorable days - some 25-30 years ago, in a small town called Madurai in India, where we used to live – a sweet family - my father (appa), mother(amma) and my cute li’l sister! I spent the first 17 years of my life in that town. My mom was a very dedicated, excellent, efficient home maker, who stayed at home to bring up my sister and myself, and take care of the family (There is a lot to write about Amma, my role model.. I will post the blog in next few days..). My father was a para-medical man, who worked for a pharmaceutical company. He would travel almost 20 days in a month. My father is extremely intelligent, very honest person, very sincere, hardworking, and god-fearing. He is a jack of all arts – may it be plumbing, or electrical, or electronic or gardening. More than anything, he is a very noble person. During the early years in his career, though he didn't make a lot of money, (in fact, what he earned earned was just enough to meet the day-to-day needs), my parents never compromised on the quality of our life and good education for me and my sister. Simple, contented, happy life. In summer every year, my parents would plan a vacation for a week, and we went to places like Kodaikanal, Yercaud, Thekkadi etc.. That was so much fun! After about 18 years in Madurai, his company transferred him to various states in India (Ahmedabad, Delhi, Mumbai..), and it was very challenging for us in the beginning. But, we soon got adjusted. Whenever we moved to a new place, the first month or two was hard. But, then we took it to our stride and settled down with ease.

He has come a long way... went through a lot of challenges and hardship, and all the his hard work paid off.. he came up very well in his career. It we was his positive spirits, cheerful mind and strong will power that he achieved all the success- both in his personal and as well as in his career path...Quite often people from our family and friends circle talk a lot of great things about him. As we were growing up, we always felt a surging pride for our father.

I feel the same pride to this day. During those early growing years, I think we shared the regular father-daughter relationship. He was a very strict disciplinarian, and a perfectionist. Time passed by... And it was not until I was in my college did I realise what a great person I had for a father. And, today, due to his noble deeds he has a huge fantail behind him wherever he went! And in his native place, Pattamadai, he is hero of worship!! He is a great source of inspiration for us. I owe my father a lot more than just my education. He taught me to be independent, he taught me to be receptive to opinions and views of others, he taught me the power of being positive, and more than anything- he taught us to be contented and happy, and at the same time, to be focused and achieve success with a steady mind, overcoming the barriers. He's 60 years old now, and he is still young at heart! And today, he is a great source of inspiration not just for me and my sister, but also for his sons(-in-law). And to his loving treasures – his grand children- they are the great fans of their grandfather!

Live the present moment!

Past is always glorious.. But we can never retrace back to the past... even though we think we lived everyday to the fullest, each new day opens up a new chapter, a new story, and it continues to the next day in our life... Though we go through the challenges and problems everyday, the moment we enter the next day, the past becomes glorious, deosn't matter if it was just the day before, or a week before- it is a glorious past! So, one should have this in mind, and always remember to live the wonderful present moment, knowing that this present moment is going to become the glorious past, when the dawn of tomorrow arrives!

In this context, I would like to share with everyone, the following article:
Chakravyhuham is the circular maze made of human warriors, elephants, chariots and horses. It is a military strategy used by Kauravaas during Mahabharatha Yuddha to bring the Pandavaas on their knees. The story is that as an unborn child in his mother's womb, Abhimanyu learnt how to enter into the Chakravyuham. (Abhimanyu was the son of Arjunan and Subhadra. Subhadra is the daughter of Vasudeva and Rohini. So she is Krishna's sister and Abhimanyu is Krishna's nephew.) Before Krishna could explain the tricks of getting out of the Chakravyuha, Subhadra fell asleep and so Krishna stopped his explanation. So Abhimanyu did not learn the trick of escaping from the puzzle Chakravyhuha. On the 13th day of the Mahabharatha war, both Krishna and Arjuna who knew how to get out of the Chakravhyuha were distracted and Abhimanyu entered the vyuha. Nobody could help him and he was trapped and killed by the Kauravaas. Once he entered, he could not go back and he moved deeper and deeper into the maze and was completely lost never to return. He was only 16.

Ravindranatha Tagore says that each one of us is an Abhimanyu. We get in to the flow of time and we only know how to go into the future living through the present. But we can never go back to the past living through the present. Only our thoughts can go back to the past but we cannot. We are travellers on the time line and what ever point of time we have crossed is lost for ever, never to return to that same point of time. We are all Abhimanyus who are walking every moment through the path of time facing the uncertain, unknown future around the corner, unable to retrace our steps or to stop our journey.

For those who believe in God, the only power that can help them to solve the puzzle is HIM. He is the personification of kindness and will guide us as long as we trust and surrender to Him. Sri Ramakrishna says: "He is behind you, in front of you, he is on your right side, He is on your left side and He is above you and He is in you. Either close your eyes and look inward or open your eyes and see his reflection in everything! That is the only way to solve the big puzzle of Maya."